Preparing for a Custody Fight with an Abusive Spouse

 Posted on February 16, 2026 in Domestic Violence

Sometimes, an abusive parent will fight tooth and nail to keep their children in a divorce case. There can be all kinds of reasons: they may want to hurt the other parent by keeping the kids, they may have mental problems that are making them behave irrationally, or they may just want to feel like they have power and control.

If you are in this situation, an Elkridge custody attorney can help you with your case so that you feel confident and prepared for the difficult days ahead.

What Do I Need to Prove Abuse in a Maryland Custody Case?

Important evidence can include:

• Police reports from domestic violence incidents.
• Medical records showing injuries you or your children received.
• Protective orders or peace orders you obtained.
• Photographs of injuries or property damage.
• Text messages, emails, or voicemails containing threats or abusive language.
• Testimony from witnesses who saw the abuse.
• Records from domestic violence shelters or counseling services.

Under Maryland Family Law Code Section 9-101, courts must consider evidence of abuse when determining the best interests of the child. Remember that to make a good case, you need good documentation.

Start gathering this evidence as soon as possible. Even if you think something might not matter, save it. Your lawyer can help you determine what will be most helpful in court.

Will My Abusive Spouse Try to Interfere With the Custody Process?

Abusive partners often use the court system as a way to maintain control. Understanding their common tactics can help you prepare for what might happen.

False Allegations

Many abusive spouses file false allegations against the other parent. They may claim you are the abusive one, accuse you of neglecting the children, or say you are unstable. This muddies the waters and makes you look like the problem.

Disobeying Court Orders

Some abusive partners refuse to follow temporary custody orders. This could involve not returning the children on time or not showing up for exchanges at all. This can be documented and used as evidence of their unwillingness to co-parent.

Dragging Out the Legal Process

Some spouses will try to exhaust you emotionally and financially. They may file unnecessary motions or request multiple continuances. They might refuse to cooperate with settlement discussions. A lawyer can help you respond to these delay tactics.

What Steps Should I Take Right Now to Protect My Children?

If you are still living with your abusive spouse, your first priority is safety. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or the Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence for resources and help creating a safety plan.

• Document everything that happens. Keep a detailed journal with dates, times, and descriptions of abusive incidents. Note when your children are present and how the abuse affects them.
• Consider filing for a protective order if you fear for your or your children's safety. These orders can also grant you temporary custody while your case moves forward and can be issued very quickly if needed.
• Talk to your children's teachers, doctors, and counselors about what is happening. They can provide testimony about how the abuse has affected your children.

Avoid confrontation with your spouse whenever possible. Do not discuss your plans to leave or file for custody. If you must communicate, do so through text or email so you have a written record. Never meet your spouse alone for custody exchanges.

Call a Columbia, MD Child Custody Attorney Today

Preparing for a custody fight with an abusive spouse needs careful planning and the right legal support. You do not have to face this battle alone. You deserve protection for yourself and your children.

At DM Family Law, our Elkridge custody lawyer brings over 20 years of experience helping clients. We take a very personal and client-centered approach to every case. With just one lawyer handling your case, you will receive focused attention and consistent communication throughout the process. Contact us at 443-545-8100 today to discuss your custody case and learn how we can help protect your children.